Is no contact with ex ever a good idea?
I would say yes.
This is one of the topics where every dating coach has a different opinion.
Some dating coaches might tell you that having no contact with your ex is a bad idea because it makes it more difficult to get her back…
… In case that’s what you want.
Table of Contents
- 1. No contact with ex: does it work?
- 2. It’s the only way to get over her
- 3. What about the “how are you” text?
- 4. Stay away from alcohol
- 5. Call your best friend instead
- 6. No contact makes her miss you
- 7. No contact motivates her to contact you
- 8. She’s more likely to try to get you back
I honestly don’t believe that.
I believe that no contact with your ex is the only way how you can get over this relationship and at the same time it’s also the only way to get her back.
Please allow me to explain…
1. No contact with ex: does it work?
It works if you make it work.
I can’t say it any other way. It’s really that simple.
Following the no-contact rule with your ex-girlfriend is just like installing a computer.
If you follow all the rules it will work and it can lead to results.
If you miss a few simple steps and you were too lazy to follow the rules, then it will backfire.
That’s why I want you to make no contact with your ex seriously.
In my opinion, it’s the only way how you can get over your ex, and here’s why…
2. It’s the only way to get over her
Do you think you will be able to get over your ex when you text with her every day?
Do you really believe that it’s possible to finally forget her when you have a phone conversation with her every week?
I personally believe that the no-contact rule is the only way to truly get over your relationship.
I mean, don’t get me wrong. After a while of having no contact, you might still be able to stay close friends.
But within the first couple of weeks of a breakup, it’s incredibly important that you focus on your emotional healing.
And one important aspect of your emotional healing is to be able to live without her.
Even though it might feel like learning to walk again, it’s important that you take this step.
If you continue to have contact with her, you stay trapped in this dependency.
You think about the no contact with ex rule because you want to be independent.
And the only way to achieve this independence is to no longer stay in contact with her because otherwise, they will always be a certain aspect of dependency.
3. What about the “how are you” text?
Having no contact with your ex also includes the simplest text messages.
So many guys have told me that they have the no-contact rule with the ex-girlfriend but then every now and then they send her a text with how are you.
Contact really means no contact.
You don’t send her any text messages, even if you just want to know if she’s doing alright.
Don’t really send her this how are you text messages because you want to know if she’s doing well.
You use this text message as an excuse to interact with her. And you hope that this message will lead to a conversation.
Maybe you even hope that asking her how she is feeling allows you to put your foot in the door because you want her back.
No contact with ex really means that there is no contact, not with text messages and not with calls.
4. Stay away from alcohol
That’s why it’s important that you stay away from alcohol.
Unfortunately, getting drunk can lead to sending text messages that you wouldn’t have sent if you were sober.
You don’t want to be that kind of guy who sends her one desperate text message after another when you had two or three bused too much.
This makes you appear needy and it makes you appear desperate.
And even if she might have thought about taking you back, sending her drunk text messages will push her decision in the opposite direction.
What do you do when you are a little bit drunk or when you just have the desire to call her when You’re sober?
Force yourself to not call her.
If you feel so lonely that you need to talk to somebody, she’s the last person who should call.
5. Call your best friend instead
Why don’t you call your best friend instead?
If he’s a really good friend, he will understand you and he will listen to you.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that you should expect your best friend to pick up the phone at 3 in the night when you’re drunk.
If you want to call your ex-girlfriend at this time, then the best thing you can do is to go to bed and talk to your best friend the next morning.
But in general, I would say that it’s always the better decision to talk to a friend and then to your ex-girlfriend…
… especially when you feel hopeless and when you are emotional.
6. No contact makes her miss you
There’s another benefit of the no contact with ex rule that a lot of men tend to forget.
The less contact you have with your ex-girlfriend, the more likely it is that she will miss you.
When you text her every day she has no chance to miss you. Even if she doesn’t want it but you’re always on her mind.
What happens now when you suddenly stopped contact with her?
Now she’s asking yourself what you are up to.
Now she’s in the position where she starts believing that you no longer miss her.
And that’s the point when she will start missing you. But you can only get her to this point if you follow the no contact with ex rule.
7. No contact motivates her to contact you
You might be surprised at how fast your ex-girlfriend will contact you once you stop contacting her.
Like I just said, the likelihood that she misses you is way higher when you no longer have contact with her.
Do you want your ex to contact you?
Then the best thing you can do, at least in most situations, is to no longer initiate contact with her.
Focus on your life. Focus on your personal growth. And wait until she contacts you.
8. She’s more likely to try to get you back
What if she then contacts you and her voice reveal that she is afraid of losing you?
The tonality in which she speaks to you and the sound of her voice reveals whether or not she still wants you.
Can you follow the no contact with ex rule, it’s not just more likely that she will be the one who contacts you…
… It’s also more likely that she’ll try to get you back.
Always remember that no girl wants a needy and desperate guy back. And by texting her and calling her all the time you are this needy and desperate guy.
What if you have the emotional strength to no longer contact her?
Do you have the confidence to say no to texting and calling her?
Then you are the kind of man that she wants to get back.